Tonight I had my BFF, Am, and her two kids over. We had gone swimming earlier in the day, then we retreated to my house for some dinner and a movie.
Am and I were in the kitchen preparing dinner, having a good time, and enjoying ourselves.
I went to go to my bedroom to retrieve my water bottle and noticed that my bedroom door was locked. Oh, bother.
Upon further inspection I found that all of the bedroom doors were locked, as well as the hallway bathroom. I went to the garage to get a mini-screwdriver, as that always seems to do the trick. I tried first on the hallway bathroom, to no avail. By this point we had kids lining up to go to the bathroom, so we did what any good parents would do: we sent them to the backyard to water the lawn.
Riss was outside with Am's boy and he comes in to inform us that "Riss is outside pooping".
Oh my dear lawd, she sure indeed was. She popped a squat right on my back patio and pooped.
A big fat nasty poop.
I'm not mad *deep cleansing breath*. I promise. I mean, how was she to know that she could have asked me and I would have taken her next door to use the restroom, really? *deep cleansing breath*
Kids are gross.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Nowhere Else To Start But Here
OK, y'all, I know I owe you quite a few posts. It is not like I have crawled into a whole and died after all. We have been quite busy, and the Casa de Mrs. F has been going through a lot of changes.
Let's start with a mommmmy-blog for today, OK? I am completely overwhelmed and this is the best place I know where to start. To brag on my kids.
The short people of the house went back to school on the 20th of last month. They started at a new school, on a new track system, and they get a chance to make new friends.
I think they are adjusting well, and their teachers are wonderful. They are attending one of the three Yellow ribbon elementary schools in the region, so I know that they have a good chance at becomin' rill smart, y'know.
I can't believe I am writing this post when they only have 8 days left until they go off-track, but I am. just. that. lazy. And just that addicted to facebook.
Cal is in 2nd grade now, and Riss is in 1st grade. Gosh, these babies sure are growing up supah fast!!
Skipping to class.
Sorry, my friends, I am going to try to be a better bloggy-buddy. Promise.
Let's start with a mommmmy-blog for today, OK? I am completely overwhelmed and this is the best place I know where to start. To brag on my kids.
The short people of the house went back to school on the 20th of last month. They started at a new school, on a new track system, and they get a chance to make new friends.
I think they are adjusting well, and their teachers are wonderful. They are attending one of the three Yellow ribbon elementary schools in the region, so I know that they have a good chance at becomin' rill smart, y'know.
I can't believe I am writing this post when they only have 8 days left until they go off-track, but I am. just. that. lazy. And just that addicted to facebook.
Cal is in 2nd grade now, and Riss is in 1st grade. Gosh, these babies sure are growing up supah fast!!
Skipping to class.
Father and son.
Ready to tackle a whole day of school.
I had to cover up his school logo on his shirt. Hence, the eyeball.
Hard at work in the first five minutes of class.
Sorry, my friends, I am going to try to be a better bloggy-buddy. Promise.
Saturday, July 4, 2009
Live Nude Girls.
This morning the hubs and I had to go meet our friend downtown, so we could get our boy from her. He stayed the night with her and downtown Sac seemed like a good half way point.
We get the boy, and we are driving downtown.
As we pass the county jail we see a woman of my stature standing in front of the jail.
She has her hands on her hips.
And she is bootie butt naked.
It was quite reminiscent of a statue. She was standing so perfectly still.
"OH MAH FREAKING GAWD!!!!!!!!!!!!" I screamed.
I explained to the hubs what I had just seen and ask him to turn the car around so that I can go back and get a picture of her.
Anyone who has ever driven in downtown Sacramento knows that it is not as simple as that, we actually have to drive all the way around a few city blocks in order to get back there.
By the time we got back she was already being arrested, and the cops had covered her body.
I was soooo bummed, because I was REALLY excited to finally have something to blog about!
So I am blogging about it anyways.
And here is your picture.
She is the second one from the left...
We get the boy, and we are driving downtown.
As we pass the county jail we see a woman of my stature standing in front of the jail.
She has her hands on her hips.
And she is bootie butt naked.
It was quite reminiscent of a statue. She was standing so perfectly still.
"OH MAH FREAKING GAWD!!!!!!!!!!!!" I screamed.
I explained to the hubs what I had just seen and ask him to turn the car around so that I can go back and get a picture of her.
Anyone who has ever driven in downtown Sacramento knows that it is not as simple as that, we actually have to drive all the way around a few city blocks in order to get back there.
By the time we got back she was already being arrested, and the cops had covered her body.
I was soooo bummed, because I was REALLY excited to finally have something to blog about!
So I am blogging about it anyways.
And here is your picture.
She is the second one from the left...
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
The One That Got Away, Thank God!
Lazy blogger in da house!
It has been a very strange week and a half around theses parts.
Let me start from the beginning of time though, OK...
Back in high school I had a boyfriend, who we will call Romeo, which sounds appropriate, since at some point in my life I actually thought I was going to die without him.
We were in love. It was passionate, infuriating, intense, and confusing.
We spent a lot of time together. He lived in a group home, and the weekends he would get passes to come stay with my family.
He was my date to the Senior Ball.
After high school I did a lot of things all wrong, like drugs. He was there for that part of my life and it caused a ridiculous amount of problems between the two of us. I still have a box of letters from him, and most of them are of him begging me to quit doing drugs. It is really quite sad to read them.
He even bought me a ring and proposed marriage to me.
He converted to Mormonism for me.
I moved down to San Diego, and eventually he followed me down there and moved in with me.
One night he went out with my brother, who happened to be visiting from Sacramento and they walked around our apartment complex, looking for a party. I have no idea why, but when he came home from that kegger with that red cup, it just fueled my fire. I was soooo mad.
His mom came to visit from Utah shortly after that happened and I sent him home with her to live there.
I am sorry if my memories are so fuzzy, but it was over 10 years ago.
We continued to talk on the phone. We were still crazy in love. I moved back to Sacramento in December of 1998. He was in Utah. I wanted to start dating other guys. This pissed him off, so he told me never to call him again.
And I didn't.
That was March 8, 1999. His birthday.
Time went by, 10 years and 3 months, to be exact. I have thought about him on numerous occasions. Actually, I have thought about him quite a bit. Namely, every time I get mad at the Hubs, I look for him on myspace and on facebook. Obsessively. I have just always felt like there was no closure in our relationship. So for the past 10 years he has been my "What if?" My "Shoulda, coulda, woulda..." "The one that got away"...You get the picture.
So imagine my shock last week when I got home from a fantastic weekend of camping and checked my email to find that there was a message from him on myspace.
"Date:
May 30, 2009 6:30 PM
Subject:
please dont reply
Body:
It's taken me over a decade for this and I am so very proud of you and I am pleased and happy for you. You have a beautiful family and I wish the best for all of you but most of all, I'm sorry.
I've never forgotten you, p.l.a.s.t.i.c. (a high school nickname). I owe you so much. I could never repay you, I wouldn't know where to start.
Well, good luck and godspeed. You guys got the world to conquer. I'll never forget how amazing you are."
Immediately I ran to the garage to tell the Hubs that I got a message from my ex-boyfriend on myspace. He laughed. He is awesome like that. Never jealous.
Then I rushed over to Twitter and Facebook to announce on there that I got a message from an ex and asked people if I should reply or not. I got mixed reactions from everyone. It did not matter what anyone else said to do, I knew what I was going to do.
I waited a few days, then I replied.
Not at all surprising, he is unhappy in his relationship with his wife. He is married with 3 kids. She hates me. Apparently she was planning their wedding for November 27th, and he told her that there was NO WAY he was going to marry her on that day, because it is my birthday.
How do I know all this?
Besides the rampant messages being fired off back and forth between the two of us? We talked on the phone on Sunday. For OVER three hours.
We agreed that it was like talking to an old friend (actually, he said "Sister", but YUCK), and there is no harm coming out of it, but I have to tell you that I was really worried about what was going to happen if I talked to him.
Do you want to know what really happened?
I gained a greater appreciation for my husband, who is everything I ever wanted, and needed, and is everything that he is not.
God really knows what he is doing sometimes. And has a great way of working things out!
It has been a very strange week and a half around theses parts.
Let me start from the beginning of time though, OK...
Back in high school I had a boyfriend, who we will call Romeo, which sounds appropriate, since at some point in my life I actually thought I was going to die without him.
We were in love. It was passionate, infuriating, intense, and confusing.
We spent a lot of time together. He lived in a group home, and the weekends he would get passes to come stay with my family.
He was my date to the Senior Ball.
After high school I did a lot of things all wrong, like drugs. He was there for that part of my life and it caused a ridiculous amount of problems between the two of us. I still have a box of letters from him, and most of them are of him begging me to quit doing drugs. It is really quite sad to read them.
He even bought me a ring and proposed marriage to me.
He converted to Mormonism for me.
I moved down to San Diego, and eventually he followed me down there and moved in with me.
One night he went out with my brother, who happened to be visiting from Sacramento and they walked around our apartment complex, looking for a party. I have no idea why, but when he came home from that kegger with that red cup, it just fueled my fire. I was soooo mad.
His mom came to visit from Utah shortly after that happened and I sent him home with her to live there.
I am sorry if my memories are so fuzzy, but it was over 10 years ago.
We continued to talk on the phone. We were still crazy in love. I moved back to Sacramento in December of 1998. He was in Utah. I wanted to start dating other guys. This pissed him off, so he told me never to call him again.
And I didn't.
That was March 8, 1999. His birthday.
Time went by, 10 years and 3 months, to be exact. I have thought about him on numerous occasions. Actually, I have thought about him quite a bit. Namely, every time I get mad at the Hubs, I look for him on myspace and on facebook. Obsessively. I have just always felt like there was no closure in our relationship. So for the past 10 years he has been my "What if?" My "Shoulda, coulda, woulda..." "The one that got away"...You get the picture.
So imagine my shock last week when I got home from a fantastic weekend of camping and checked my email to find that there was a message from him on myspace.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
It read:"Date:
May 30, 2009 6:30 PM
Subject:
please dont reply
Body:
It's taken me over a decade for this and I am so very proud of you and I am pleased and happy for you. You have a beautiful family and I wish the best for all of you but most of all, I'm sorry.
I've never forgotten you, p.l.a.s.t.i.c. (a high school nickname). I owe you so much. I could never repay you, I wouldn't know where to start.
Well, good luck and godspeed. You guys got the world to conquer. I'll never forget how amazing you are."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Immediately I ran to the garage to tell the Hubs that I got a message from my ex-boyfriend on myspace. He laughed. He is awesome like that. Never jealous.
Then I rushed over to Twitter and Facebook to announce on there that I got a message from an ex and asked people if I should reply or not. I got mixed reactions from everyone. It did not matter what anyone else said to do, I knew what I was going to do.
I waited a few days, then I replied.
Not at all surprising, he is unhappy in his relationship with his wife. He is married with 3 kids. She hates me. Apparently she was planning their wedding for November 27th, and he told her that there was NO WAY he was going to marry her on that day, because it is my birthday.
How do I know all this?
Besides the rampant messages being fired off back and forth between the two of us? We talked on the phone on Sunday. For OVER three hours.
We agreed that it was like talking to an old friend (actually, he said "Sister", but YUCK), and there is no harm coming out of it, but I have to tell you that I was really worried about what was going to happen if I talked to him.
Do you want to know what really happened?
I gained a greater appreciation for my husband, who is everything I ever wanted, and needed, and is everything that he is not.
God really knows what he is doing sometimes. And has a great way of working things out!
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
GE Can Suck It!
Two years ago we splurged and bought new appliances for the whole house. Most of the appliances were GE brand, and in all fairness, most of those appliances are still working like the day we bought them. With the exception of one. The washing machine.
The less-than-two-years-old front-loader.
And I have something to say about that.
Shocking. I know.
So here it goes; my open letter to my washing machine:
Model Number WBVH5100 or WBVH5100HWW,
You can suck it.
You have been nothing but a headache to me for the past year or two. And I mean that literally. We live relatively close to the train tracks, and I hear the train at a quieter tone than I hear your spin cycle.
Your timer says 59 minutes, but apparently that is just a suggestion, because you take roughly two hours with each load.
You have gnawed up my clothes, leaving them in absolute shreds.
But this last stint you pulled? Well, that was a doozy. I mean come on.
I start the load of laundry as I would any other load of laundry. About half way through your cycle I walk past you to find that you are leaking. All over my house.
I wait until the wash is complete before I check your problem. I look inside and find that the gasket that seals your door is SHREDDED. All the way around. Are you mother-flippin' kidding me? I mean seriously? I did not even put any sharp objects in you. Ever. And this is how you repay me? By making me go out and buy a new $150 part for you.
I hate you so much, GE Model number WBVH5100. You will never know.
Next time I am going with the LG. Or Bosch. Because GE, you can suck it!!!!!!!
Sincerely,
Paloma
Also? Laundromats are expensive. I spent $3 per load, and when I got home I still had to throw the laundry in the dryer because it was not completely dry. I spent a total of $30 at the laundromat in one week.
Laundromats can suck it, too!
The less-than-two-years-old front-loader.
And I have something to say about that.
Shocking. I know.
So here it goes; my open letter to my washing machine:
Model Number WBVH5100 or WBVH5100HWW,
You can suck it.
You have been nothing but a headache to me for the past year or two. And I mean that literally. We live relatively close to the train tracks, and I hear the train at a quieter tone than I hear your spin cycle.
Your timer says 59 minutes, but apparently that is just a suggestion, because you take roughly two hours with each load.
You have gnawed up my clothes, leaving them in absolute shreds.
But this last stint you pulled? Well, that was a doozy. I mean come on.
I start the load of laundry as I would any other load of laundry. About half way through your cycle I walk past you to find that you are leaking. All over my house.
I wait until the wash is complete before I check your problem. I look inside and find that the gasket that seals your door is SHREDDED. All the way around. Are you mother-flippin' kidding me? I mean seriously? I did not even put any sharp objects in you. Ever. And this is how you repay me? By making me go out and buy a new $150 part for you.
I hate you so much, GE Model number WBVH5100. You will never know.
Next time I am going with the LG. Or Bosch. Because GE, you can suck it!!!!!!!
Sincerely,
Paloma
waiting for a new part
the shredded gasket
I had to go to the laundromat, and now I have ten loads of laundry stacked up on my bed
This is not even all of it!
This is not even all of it!
Also? Laundromats are expensive. I spent $3 per load, and when I got home I still had to throw the laundry in the dryer because it was not completely dry. I spent a total of $30 at the laundromat in one week.
Laundromats can suck it, too!
Monday, June 1, 2009
Oh My Freaking Gawd, Time Flies
I can not believe that I could possibly be old enough to be the mother of a seven year old. But I am.
We went camping over the weekend for Cal's seventh birthday. It was what he wanted to do. And it was a great idea on his part. We all had a blast!
His cousins came out, as did his faux-cousins. And grama and grandpa and Uncle were there. We had a small cake, then went and played in the lake in the middle of a thunder storm. Totally awesome!
Cal is one of the smartest, sweetest boys around. He is a good friend to those that are lucky enough to be his friends, and a wonderful son. I am very blessed to be his mother.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Winner, Winner, Chicken Dinner
In this post I asked you all to guess how many lingering receipts I had in my purse.
The answer: 35
The person who guessed the closest to 35 was Billie, of BugsAndSnails.com, who said:
Congratulations, Billie, your $10 gift card will be on it's way to you as soon as I get your info!!
Thanks to everyone who played along!
The answer: 35
The person who guessed the closest to 35 was Billie, of BugsAndSnails.com, who said:
"Ooo!! Love the new purses! Totally cute.
I thought my purse was stuffed! Too funny!
I'm going to guess 37 recipts!"
I thought my purse was stuffed! Too funny!
I'm going to guess 37 recipts!"
Congratulations, Billie, your $10 gift card will be on it's way to you as soon as I get your info!!
Thanks to everyone who played along!
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